By chance, I have read a brilliant post: “Launch A 365-Day Project In 2013” by Marelisa Fabrega. In her post, she encourages and offers 25 ideas for 365 day project. Some ideas enhance and better our lives, like spending 1 hour or some time everyday with our love (wife, kids), or meditate, exercise or take a walk every day for a year; some ideas focus on create and realize our goals and dreams, i.e. spend 1 hour on writing novel, posts or start own business. There are also some unusual and fun ideas like documenting 2013 with a photo a day, cooking a recipe dish a day or talk to someone new everyday….
No matter what comes to your mind for your 365 day project, enjoy and fun with it 🙂 Take the project from a positive, serving a better you (in relationship, health, wealth, career…) perspective and enriching your every day life. It’s important that what you have chosen to do for the coming 364 day is (are) exactly what you want and strongly desire for; because it takes lasting commitment of 364 days to make it successful!
Hsing’s 365 day project – (a) eating a fruit every day for a year and (b) 15 minutes meditation per day;
Loic’s 365 day project – (a) TBD.
We are changing the way we do our current bucket list challenges!
From now, we are going to share the results of our achievements first, then inviting you to take the same challenges and let us know how you do!
As the year is approaching to the end (2012) and heading to another new beginning (2013), we start to examine our individual and couple achieved and yet-to-be achieved goals & to-dos, to reflect on our personal learning and growth during the year, as well as looking at goals for coming months.
We have engaged just a month ago and there are lots of activities planned for 2013 already, including our lovely wedding!! We have few other bucket list activities discussed too… Definitely for us, we will be out of our comfort zone; the question is then HOW MUCH OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONE??!!
We will keep you updated for sure!! And YOU LET US KNOW YOURS?
Kindness is a selfless act inspired by the love within. It’s a most natural act of love.
Personally I believe we all have a love bulb within us. We have the ability to self-generate the energy and brighten the bulb up any time as we wish. And we all forget about this. In our lives, we have parents, families, friends, colleagues or strangers, people around us who either help us to illuminate brighter or to dim our brightness. We let them influence how bright we are, may be and will be; and neglect the important thing that we are the source of our own brightness.
When the light bulb is on, it radiates warmth and the act of kindness just shines through and takes place itself with abundant love.
The World Kindness Day is coming, on the 13th November! Will you let your love bulb illuminate to the maximum brightness?
Loïc has made his proposal, asking me to marry him, be his wife and be with him forever. Wow… that was a mouth full and very bold in asking, especially the ‘be with me forever’!! Or should I say, it’s I who is more daring to say ‘YES‘ (because by saying ‘yes’, I have committed myself; but for him, he just simply asked the questions, not made the commitment).
With this love note and our new long term commitment, I would like to encourage, challenge and dare every reader to boldly express and declare your love!! No matter it is for your girl/boy friend, wife/husband, partner, parents or secret lover, just go ahead and tell them (and again and again) via words and actions!
We all love to be loved and yet afraid to ask and give completely. Our past experiences or hurts plus self-protection mechanism may somehow prevent us to love bravely. Why let it stopping us from being in love and enjoying love? Why not invite ourselves to give a try, be daring and free? How about starting with simply declaring and saying ‘I LOVE YOU’ or “YOU ARE THE ONE I WANT TO BE WITH” or something intimate from your heart?
It’s your love life, your love call ~
Challenge:
Declaring and expressing your love to the one who matters to you
Extra Challenge:
Express with words and actions
Goals:
To express your love within boldly and freely, leave no regrets and let your love one refilled with your love
Time required:
1 hour
Energy level:
Medium-High (on heart & soul level)
Preparation:
Prepare 2 declaration of love statements and 1 action
Here are few heart-felt statements for your reference:
My life is with a purpose when I am with you
I want to live the rest of my life with you
You make me feel so special
I want to build something great with you in life
You are the one I want to be with
You are exactly what I need in my life
You are my everything, my whole world
I want to have children with you
You make me feel at home
I love you even with your picky character; I learn to appreciate you the whole package
You make me feel loved and cherished
With you, I may start doing big project and not feeling alone
* Encourage and support us by sharing this post with your friends or clicking “LIKE” if you like our post:)
Don’t forget to share with us your experiences and how your life has changed because of the challenge!!
“The greatest enemy of tomorrow’s success is today’s success” by Rick Warren
I have to admit, I have been complacent with my August Completed – 30 Days on How to love your partner and switching myself completely off from the areas of bucket list challenges writing and self-disciplining to areas of focusing on relaxation and self-indulgence 🙂
With end of September final updates and reading of “Self-improvement 101” by John C Maxwell. I have woken up from my prolonged self-indulgence and procrastination; realizing that I have been spending lots less time on personal growth. I felt like as if I am standing on an escalator going down, but I am trying to go up; and the moment I stop walking up, I am being taken down by the escalator to the bottom. I did enjoy my own satisfaction and relaxation, but at the same time being fooled by it.
Self-development will not happen by itself for us; it requires dedicated intention and efforts. How much we are willing to invest in ourselves is how much at the end of the day, we will harvest from ourselves. If there is an area of life you would like to develop further, let’s work on it for the coming month. Quoted from Earl Nightingale: “If a person will spend one hour a day on the same subject for five years, that person will be an expert on that subject.” Indeed, 1 hour a day for 5 years, that is 1,825 hours in total, roughly equals to 228 working days (assuming 8 hours per day). It’s like a year of short term study (advance enrichment). I am now amazed that 1 hour a day may turned into something sounds grand, even a second career development!
So, if there is something you would like to spend this 1 hour on?
It’s not ‘time’ that we don’t have, it’s self-discipline. Once your goal is set (and it has to be your passion), then put yourself into a non-bargain-able daily hour program (refer below example, skip weekend if you want) and
Example: first select your to be developed area or subject (i.e. want to learn an instrument, want to be a life coach or learn photography…) and ENJOY the learning experience (not to be burden by it).
monday: read books or articles about it
tuesday: take relevant lessons or workshops
wednesday: make notes, reflect and integrate knowledge from monday & tuesday
thursday: field search (via Internet or stores…) on special techniques, trends and what are being offered on the market
friday: put into practices
If you don’t have something in mind, it’s never to late to find out more about yourself and something you are interested!
Day 30 – Today’s home work: Create a self-love plan of 5 action items for the coming 90 days (July, August, September) The below is my 5 self-love actions with final month, end of Sep updates: (my end of August updates and end of July updates)
(1) Read 3 self-love books (1 book by the end of each month)
Sep 1 – It’s better to be well prepared than sorry.
Sep 2 – There is nothing more important than embracing and standing firmly for certain family values. I am making the changes for a better family life
Sep 3 – The easiest and fastest way to change the world is to change ourselves.
Sep 4 – Do not let others to decide or to disturb on how I will live through my day today.
Sep 5 – Nothing is so urgent in life (don’t have to rush all the time), unless when life itself become urgent (facing life and death situation).
Sep 6 – Helping others is like having pollen and seeds spreading around, we never know what kind of flowers, fruits or outcomes it will bring. It is not so much about expecting any return, but rather not to underestimate the impacts that we bring on others. (I encourage myself keep on spreading the seeds of surprises!)
Sep 7 – When I start to focus on how much others do for me, I start to realize how little I do for others.
Sep 8 – Loving self is an important life long subject; but we often forget to keep it in the daily program.
Sep 9 – Take 2-3 hours to do something I like regularly, i.e. per week, I feel much more with myself and happy with myself.
Sep 10 – Self-improvement is meant for ‘self’, not for others.
Sep 11 – Type of life we are living in is reflected in the types of daily activities we do. (if want to change the type of life, we got to change the activities)
Sep 12 – “if we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we are not really living.” by Gail Sheehy
Sep 13 – Growth is certainly a choice; no one says it is easy, but for sure rewarding!
Sep 14 – Focus on self-development, not self-fulfillment. (self-development is a bigger goal than self-fulfillment. Self-fulfillment is the by-product benefit of self-development)
Sep 15 – Anyone appears in our lives for a reason. I may not understand what is the reason right away, but I am willing to explore and learn more from them.
Sep 16 – Resting is preparing for the next heard work!
Sep 17 – Finding life purpose calling is not easy (especially we don’t listen to our hearts), but it will come when we start to pay attention.
Sep 18 – Sometimes what I think it is good for others may not be the case. Always double check with consideration.
Sep 19 – Within an interaction, how I react enrolls how other responses. (meaning if I want my boss to trust me that I am handling everything well, I need to first show my boss I am handling my boss well)
Sep 20 – Where I am being myself and expose myself, it does not mean I am weak and vulnerable. I just choose to let others to see the naked me. (don’t have to guess me)
Sep 21 – He who dares loving, trying and giving is really living!
Sep 22 – Managing self is easier than managing others; nevertheless, we like to manage others first.
Sep 23 – “A winner knows how much he still has to learn, even when he is considered an expert by others; a loser wants to be considered as an expert before he has learned enough to know how little he knows.“ by Sydney Harris
(3) Two hours of exercise per week (8.5 hours every month) 65% checked – took an hour every week during lunch time to do some fast walking around the block and 30 minutes stretching each night before going to bed. Certainly over the past 90 days, there were still room to improve; and I keep on telling myself to continue going ahead, not to let yesterday’s failure dis-encourages tomorrow’s success!
(4) Two activities per month that I would love to do with myself (2 activities to share each month) Checked! Take a good bath with oil, home made ice tea with candle and music 🙂 Treat myself with world famous singer concert (Madonna’s concert)!!
(5) Save $100 per month for the thing that I always wanted ($100 more at the end of each month) Checked! Not only I have saved $300, a friend of mine has given me an iPAD as a gift! So wonderful~ it’s like when I start to accumulate wealth, wealth itself multiplies!!! (law of attraction?)
The next book for September is “Self-improvement 101” by John C Maxwell.
(2) One statement per day (30 by each month end)
Aug 1 – Encouragement is the oxygen to the soul.
Aug 2 – We always have choice to be who we want to be!
Aug 3 – It would be easier to hike with the right shoes…
Aug 4 – Let no ‘expectation’ traps me into the ‘should be’ situation and disturbs me emotionally.
Aug 5 – I am really proud of myself facing up to my weaknesses.
Aug 6 – Life is beautiful. I will take time to slow down and enjoy the beauty.
Aug 7 – I can do it! I can let go the urge of wanting to be right!
Aug 8 – Empathy is the pillar for an intimate and strong relationship.
Aug 9 – At time of difficult moment, take one day at a time; difficult period will eventually pass.
Aug 10 – Not to over worry for people or things that I have no control over or not responsible of.
Aug 11 – Relationship requires investment of love, time, energy, compromises, understanding, patience, communication and faith. The more we invest, the more we reap on the way!
Aug 12 – Trust is the foundation of a relationship. I will give 100% of trust at the beginning – what do I get to lose?
Aug 13 – sometimes we ask for things that we are not ready to receive; in this case, perhaps it’s better that we wait a bit longer.
Aug 14 – Waiting for someone else’ to change takes very long time; it is easier to change ourselves first.
Aug 15 – Anyone appears in our lives for a reason. I may not understand what is the reason right away, but I am willing to explore and learn from.
Aug 16 – I am happy that I am a giver in love and also a taker.
Aug 17 – There are so many unfortunate events happening on other people around us; I will cherish what I have, not focus on what i don’t have.
Aug 18 – When I start to involve and consider my partner in decision making, from big to small decisions, it’s the time when i really in a relationship.
Aug 19 – Sometimes in a relationship, it’s not about what we can do for others, but merely the simple fact if we are there when asked or needed.
Aug 20 – To get recognized by others, sometimes is not about how well and how much you have done; but how much you stood up by your achievements.
Aug 21 – Always aim for the best and prepare for the worst.
Aug 22 – It’s never too late to make an apology.
Aug 23 – Do what you can while alive; once when time is up, action ceases.
Aug 24 – Be humble; the more we know, the less we know.
Aug 25 – Forgive is to forget and let go; not to ignore.
Aug 26 – A bold heart is half of the battle.
Aug 27 – Less is more.
Aug 28 – The best gifts in life are given when we are not asking for them.
Aug 29 – When my partner embraces my temper in silence, it does not mean it doesn’t hurt, so I may abuse it; it means he loves me and my temper more than he loves himself.
Aug 30 – Thinking out of box sometimes, it helps thinking in the box!
Aug 31 – I may not be the best perfect partner that my partner wishes for; but I am proud of being the partner I am to my partner.
(3) Two hours of exercise per week (8.5 hours every month)
50% checked – only did 4 hours this month 😦 I would like to focus a bit more in restate my health in Sept!
(4) Two activities per month that I would love to do with myself (2 activities to share each month)
Checked! Finally visited my dream destination, a church in Mogno Switzerland designed by Mario Botha (see below); invited myself to a Japanese restaurant and enjoy food by myself.
(5) Save $100 per month for the thing that I always wanted ($100 more at the end of each month)
Checked! Total $200 by now and I have already bought the pad!!! YEH.. early achievement!
After 30 Days on How to love yourself more, I have challenged myself on 30 Days on How to love your partner. It has been a great 30 days in my life and for my relationship with my partner. I have carried out the daily actions myself; some are quite challenging and requiring lots of space between my partner and I, some are easier and fun to do. We not only get to know each other much more in a deeper level, but also using the opportunities to make commitments embracing our differences and common goals in life. Both my partner and I have learnt a lot in this 30 days journey, I truly hope this mini-journey has brought and shared different perspectives of relationship, enriched and helped your relationship in any ways.
Thank you all who read my posts, shared comments, gave feedback and liked what I believe 🙂 Learning how to love is a lifelong journey, hope to see or hear from you again on the road.
I wish all of us all creating and profiting from the life we want and we create!
In general, do you love your partner in your own ways or the ways your partner expects or a mix of the two? Do you insist on the view that what you think or what you give your partner is the best and is for your partner’s best interest? Do you know and carefully consider his or her needs before giving and sharing your opinions and love? Do you know which of your love actions make your partner feels loved and cared for?
We are all unique; we have our own ways of expressing, thinking and doing things, including loving ourselves and others. Sometimes we adopt the same approach of loving ourselves in loving others; sometimes we adjust or take a different approach. It’s important that we remind ourselves since we are all different due to our sexes, backgrounds, childhood, past experiences and so on, so we may have different needs in love. What you think is the best for your partner may not be the best or what he or she needs or wants.
For example, as a female partner, you may show your love by keeping a loving, clean home with meal prepared for your partner to come back to; however your partner might oversee all these and hope you energetically welcome him home with sweet words of greeting, comforting hugs or a simple massage after a long day instead of you busy with cooking and feeling tired due to the house chores. It’s a pity in the relationship where couples love and give each other so much, but the love is not fully received, just because the love given is not the love expected or wanted.
How would you love your partner in the days to come?
Today I love my partner by: (share it aloud to your partner)
Understanding what is my partner’s expectation of ‘being loved’ and committing myself to love in such ways expected by my partner.
For your actions:
(1) List out ‘how you love your partner’.
(2) Find out from your partner, what are the things you do that he or she feels loved by you; what are his or her examples of feeling loved.
(3) From now, express your love the ways your partner expects or likes as mentioned in (2) above; let your partner feels your love.
Creativity is the opposite of routine. Surprise your partner!
How do you love your partner? Are you constantly trying out new ways to love your partner, new manners to show and express your affection and caring, new channels to communicate your admiration, gratitude and appreciation? Are you being creative in loving your partner, delivering your love messages and actions, as well as creating the relationship you want? Surely your partner would not mind little versatility and dynamic in how you love him or her.
Ever thought that loving your partner may be creative? Love may be just love and you just love your partner and nothing in love can be ‘creative’ about it. If you are willing, give it a try and answer this: how many ways can you come up to express ‘you love your partner’?How many ways to say thank you to your partner? When you come up with 10 or 20 options, there will still be few out there, waiting for us to explore.
Sounds exciting, isn’t it? To go beyond what we know exist already and explore the unknown. It not only surprises your partner, but also excites ourselves in the exploring process. Here are some tips for being creative in loving your partner and building the relationship:
always brain storm for some new exciting ideas; not to stop at first and only idea
do something spontaneous and out of your ordinary routine, i.e. your colleague mentions a good place for night viewing today in office, why not take your partner to the place for a romantic night view (something you would not normally do in weekday).
deliver messages unconventionally, i.e. writing on the sand, through your singing, spelt out the message using MM chocolate, using post-it, graffiti….etc.
following the heart-felt moments; create environment for it and for surprises
go extra mile for your partner, try something new or wouldn’t dare to do
Relationship is what you create of it; it’s in your hand to excite and energize your love for your partner and the relationship. What you invest and put in the relationship, you and your partner will both benefit from it.
Today I love my partner by: (share it aloud to your partner)
Being creative in the ways I love my partner; I will try different ways.
For your actions:
(1) Take time to brainstorm right now and come up with at least 5 NEW ways that you have never done before in expressing “I love you” to your partner. Do these 5 new ways with this week.
(2) Create a small surprise in the coming weekend for your partner.
Bucket List Challenges 