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Tag Archives: Personal development

A new year, a new pair of eyes seeing the world!

 “While every year starts with a new beginning, why not for a change, let’s see the world with a pair of new eyes?” 

Look through different pair of eyes

2012 is heading to an end and 2013 is almost a blink away. What are your plans on celebrating 2012 achievements and on starting goals for 2013?

Remember not too long ago, we were setting our goals for 2012 (Resolutions) Project and now it’s time we reflect on how much we have achieved and by-passed. The goals were there, because they were important to us and bought us a sense of purpose in our daily life. They constantly encourage and challenge us that we may be the persons we want to be and be a better self today than yesterday! We celebrate and be proud of our achievements!

On the other hand, where we underachieved, we try to understand the underlying root causes and our deepest obstacles, with bravery, we face our weaknesses or darkness without self-judgment and accept who we are with kindness.

It is very controversial subject, should we accept who we are and embrace ourselves as we are or should we continuously strike to seek personal excellence and be better each single day. This is a question only for you; only you will know and you decide. What’s important is, no matter what is your choice, be yourself entirely. If you want to run ahead, go for it~ if you want to take a longer rest, so be it. 2013 is your year for being truly and kindly to yourself.

Every year after the new year count down, we start with ‘1st January’. It’s the first date into another year, decade or hundred years. You may already have something new (Christmas specials) or hoping for something new and exciting to happen in 2013 or just simply want a new start and a different year. It’s a great challenge for you and all of us to view our existing environments, especially relationships with our spouse, children, parents, colleagues…etc, and with ourselves with different perspectives and with a new pair of eyes of your own choice.

‘A new pair of eyes of your own choice’ means you take off the glasses you have been wearing in the past years and put on a new pair. If your old pair of eyes used to look at yourself with critical self-judgment, then with the new pair, you’d no longer doing so; if your old pair always showed you the self of a broken heart and powerless soul, let the new pair shows you the abundance of love and spirit full mind. When you start to see yourself, people around you and things with your new eyes, new things appear!

So before you leave with the new pair of eyes, answer yourself the following questions:

  • what are the 3 aspects you would like your new eyes to see? Example: always the truth, the honesty, the positive side, your inner feelings, others’ feelings, the fun and creativity, the gentleness and kindness…etc.
  • what would you not let yourself to be blind by?

I have my pair ready! Waiting for yours, so we see the world together with the new pair of eyes!!

 
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Posted by on December 29, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Self-development 101

 “The greatest enemy of tomorrow’s success is today’s success” by Rick Warren

I have to admit, I have been complacent with my August Completed – 30 Days on How to love your partner and switching myself completely off from the areas of bucket list challenges writing and self-disciplining to areas of focusing on relaxation and self-indulgence 🙂

With end of September final updates and reading of “Self-improvement 101” by John C Maxwell. I have woken up from my prolonged self-indulgence and procrastination; realizing that I have been spending lots less time on personal growth. I felt like as if I am standing on an escalator going down, but I am trying to go up; and the moment I stop walking up, I am being taken down by the escalator to the bottom. I did enjoy my own satisfaction and relaxation, but at the same time being fooled by it.

Self-development will not happen by itself for us; it requires dedicated intention and efforts. How much we are willing to invest in ourselves is how much at the end of the day, we will harvest from ourselves. If there is an area of life you would like to develop further, let’s work on it for the coming month. Quoted from Earl Nightingale: “If a person will spend one hour a day on the same subject for five years, that person will be an expert on that subject.” Indeed, 1 hour a day for 5 years, that is 1,825 hours in total, roughly equals to 228 working days (assuming 8 hours per day). It’s like a year of short term study (advance enrichment). I am now amazed that 1 hour a day may turned into something sounds grand, even a second career development!

So, if there is something you would like to spend this 1 hour on? 

It’s not ‘time’ that we don’t have, it’s self-discipline. Once your goal is set (and it has to be your passion), then put yourself into a non-bargain-able daily hour program (refer below example, skip weekend if you want) and
Example: first select your to be developed area or subject (i.e. want to learn an instrument, want to be a life coach or learn photography…) and ENJOY the learning experience (not to be burden by it).

  • monday: read books or articles about it
  • tuesday: take relevant lessons or workshops
  • wednesday: make notes, reflect and integrate knowledge from monday & tuesday
  • thursday: field search (via Internet or stores…) on special techniques, trends and what are being offered on the market
  • friday: put into practices

If you don’t have something in mind, it’s never to late to find out more about yourself and something you are interested!

 
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Posted by on October 23, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Day 28 – Give your partner time, space and patience to grow

Everything takes its time to grow, mature and consummate. By pulling the seeding, it will not help the plant to grow faster.

We have been brought up differently accordingly to our parents’ teaching, our social backgrounds, cultures and educations; we are learning through various thinking models, institutions and techniques; we are also growing and maturing based on our own unique personal experiences, failures and successes. Each of us has own favorite and effective ways of learning and requiring different time frames and space to grow. What is your most effective and efficient way to develop? In which areas would you like to improve and in what manners?

In a couple relationships, it is always easier to identify what our partners may improve, develop, grow up and get mature on. Our partners may agree or disagree on our views and take or not take actions subsequently. It is important that despite what we think or wish, our partners are individuals who are responsible for their own well-beings, own personal developments and growth, and we are here to support them, but not to take actions on behalf of them. Let them do at their own pace and timing.

If the above describes you in the relationship with your partner, taking this opportunity to open up a space where you are supporting and embracing your partner’s ways of enhancing him or herself. If your partner chooses not to do much about his or her own personal growth (after you challenge him or her out of own comfort zones), let him or her be. Perhaps your partner is thinking seriously and taking a break before starting or continuing. Let your own self-development be the inspiring example for your partner.

On the other hand, if your partner is the demanding, pushy one: express your gratitude to his or her goodwill on you; thank your partner for seeing your potentials and wanting the best for your development. Assure your partner that you are aware it’s your responsibility to grow, you are taking care of it; ask your partner to be patient and allow you to do it at your own speed and timing. Invite your partner to be a part of the process for the mental and physical supports, encouragements and recognitions, but not as an examiner who constantly checks for results.

Personal growth is a lifelong journey. It’s an honor to participate and be a part of someone’s development process, especially your partner’s. Seize the opportunity well, use your wisdom to support; let your involvements value-add your partner’s growth.

Today I love my partner by: (share it aloud to your partner)

Empowering and trusting he or she is taking care of his or her personal development; providing encouragements and recognitions when he or she needs it and a space allowing him or her to grow at own pace and timing.

For your actions:

(1)    Take time to think about how do you participate in your partner’s personal development? Do you take charge or empower and allow your partner to grow as he or she wishes?

(2)    How could you support your partner more in his or her own development?

 
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Posted by on August 28, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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