Day 18 – Involve your partner in decision making!

A relationship is a partnership; a partnership is an arrangement where parties agree to cooperate to advance their mutual interests.

Are you in a partnership like relationship where both of you and your partner have common goals to achieve and equal weight on each of your point of views, as well as the commitment and respect for each other? What is your understanding and requirements of partnership or in a relationship?

Couples may be in the relationships for different reasons, i.e. for fun, for sex, for platonic love or for building a family in near future. No matter what’s the main purpose or the mutual interests are, it is important that both of you and your partner are on the same page, knowing what each other wants and expects from the relationship. As the relationship develops, the goals and interests may evolve too. It’s our goodwill to keep our partners updated with our changes of intention; in this way, we respect our partners by sharing a clear understanding or expectation of the relationship from our sides, so they may make decisions accordingly. Many divorces or break-ups may have been saved, if couples could update each other at earlier stage and allowing more time for solutions, turning point or changing mind.

How updated is your partner with your latest thoughts and expectation from the relationship? How much do you involve your partner in your decision making process? Do you ask your partner what he or she thinks when you are about to change job or job move to another country? Or when you invite friends back to your common home for dinner or choosing location for next vacation? Do you consider your partner’s point of views or just inform your partner about the final decisions?

No matter if the decision is about you solely or about both of you the relationship (basically when you are in an intimate relationship, there is no more ‘you’ or ‘your partner’ anymore; it’s all merged into just one ‘you both’), by involving your partner in your decision making process does not only make your partner feel respected, important and included, but also brings you the second opinion for better decision making and a recognition, declaration of togetherness for both of you in the current relationship. It’s a decision to be made with the benefit enhancing your relationship. Why not?

Today I love my partner by: (share it aloud to your partner)

Involving my partner in my decision making process, to hear and understand his or her point of views and latest expectation of the relationship. On the other hand, inviting my partner to include me in his or her decision making process.

For your actions:

(1)    How much and often do you include your partner in your decision making process? What would be the benefits if your partner is involved?

(2)    Include your partner in your next decision making process; ask your partner’s opinions. Share your reasons involving your partner at the very end.

 

Sex and Intimacy Game

(For readers more than 18 years old)

Preparation 1:

• 8cm x 8 cm post-it (30 sheets in the same color)
• 2 pens, a timer and a bowl
• 3 hours from each player, set aside for fun! (no interruptions, i.e. phone calls, SMS and no subsequent arrangement)

Preparation 2:

• Use the post-it, each writes down 6 questions (1 question per sheet) relating areas of sexual desire, love, intimacy…etc., that you are curious about your partner. Once you have completed writing, fold the post-it inwards 3 times, so that writings inside the post-it are not visible from outside. Put them in the bowl. The questions are designed to get to know each other more; not to put your partner in an accusation stand (i.e. why do you want me to….) or in a difficult situation (i.e. out of all your ex, who do you love the most). Remember it’s about you and your partner, not with anyone else. Good examples are: (questions start with ‘what’, ‘when’, ‘where’ and ‘how’)

1. What would you like me to do more in bed that makes you feel good?
2. When do you feel most intimate or close to your partner?

• Write down the following 8 questions or happy-to-do in separate 8 post-it sheets and mix well with your 12 pieces of post-it in the bowl.

1. Name 1 sensual part of your own body and ask your partner to lick the part with the remaining minutes
2. Ask your partner to share intimate thoughts with you by you start saying: “Trust me that you are safe with me emotionally, share with me how you feel lately”
3. Express gratitude on 5 things your partner has done for you lately
4. Name 3 aspects or reasons that your partner is sexy in your point of view
5. Kiss and breath all over your partner’s face, except your partner’s mouth
6. Name 5 qualities in your partner that attract you very much
7. Say 3 things that you would want your partner to know right now
8. Apologize to your partner for 3 things you have neglected or wouldn’t have done lately

• Set the timer for 3 minutes

Game On:

1. Decide who will go first; the first person picks a post-it from the bowl
2. Use up full 3 minutes (with the help of a timer) to answer the question or to perform the happy-to-do task on the post-it.
3. It’s possible that you have picked your own post-it; this is perfectly fine. Your partner would not mind to know more about you with your own questions.
4. Then change turn, the second person repeats no.1-3 above.

Remember: the objective is to have fun, be open and honest as much as possible to each other, be brave to try the happy-to-do and share your inner emotions, as well as to have sex and intimacy at the same time. Hope both of you have fun!!

If you are in the mood for more, why not have a read in our other post, 30 days of love making – an act of love per day.