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Tag Archives: Belief

Day 7 – Let go of your urges of being right all the time!

It’s your ego behind all the urges of ‘I am right’. So what if you are right, but you lose the hearts of others?

Exactly behind all these “I am right”, what are we really looking for and want to achieve? Is it a sense of victory, superiority over others? Or is it a boost on self-confidence and gaining of power? Or it’s a proof of self-inadequacy (i.e. not having much to be sure of or show off in life, so whenever there is a chance to assure others ‘I know this and I am right about it’, we grab the urge and would not let go of it) or a hidden ego?

Our ego protects us from any circumstances which will make us feel inadequate and inferior; it makes us to say or do sometimes to revert the feeling and the situation. Ego is like a black hole consuming our energy endlessly; the bigger the hole, the more we are attracted to repel what we hear, defend our feeling and the stronger the desire to hide and cover our inadequacies. Most of the time, our reactions become parts of the reflex and we are not aware or in full control of them. Next time when we engage in a heated conversation proving ‘I am right’ again, think about what you are really saying or hiding from each others.

So, how strongly do you want to or need to prove that ‘you are right’ in daily life? How much do you face up and accept your own inadequacies or agenda behind? It’s nothing to be shame of, we are all not perfect. It’s more important that we accept and embrace ourselves, our inadequacies and weaknesses, as well as really understand what our hidden intentions are (i.e. “I know I am right, so listen to me next time…” -> intentions to control other’s life or to emphasize that ‘I am not being heard in general, so listen to me this time’ and so on).

Wouldn’t you want to live a life which there is not much to defend, nothing could make us feel inferior about and we don’t have to be right all the time (to maintain the reputation)? We just share ourselves openly with no urge to be ‘I am right’. (It’s another kind of freedom!)

In your relationship, do you have to be right always? Actually we are all right in our own ways. Why that is yours are more right than your partner’s? If the question itself induces subjective answers, what’s the point of who is more right than other? So what if you are totally right, but lose the space for your partner to share your view? And you are leaving no room for what if you are wrong. Relationship is not a battle field of right or wrong and we only do the right. Relationship is about two people discussing, agreeing and accepting what is the best for the two and go forward from there. Being right will not consolidate the two hearts. Consider to let your ego go in relationship.

Today I love my partner by: (share it aloud to your partner)

Reducing or letting go the urge to prove ‘I am right’ in our relationship; we are both right in our own ways and our goal is to combine the two right into agreed and accepted one best way.

For your actions:

(1)    What does “being I am right” mean to me? Take these meanings to a deeper level within self, are they related to ego or hidden intentions or…. (only you know yours, by understanding and be aware of them, it will help you to see the root causes of your urge of ‘I am right’.)

(2)    In your current relationship, is your ego in the way of enhancing the relationship, i.e. in communication, sharing daily tasks…etc?

(3)    Ask your partner how strong is your ego from the scale 1-10 and elaborate with some examples. (prepare yourself for any answer, try not to defend what you hear, just listen with your heart, not your head; it’s your partner’s perception of you and you may use for reference point to improve yourself.)

 
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Posted by on August 7, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Day 6 – Beliefs about love ~

Your beliefs about love are important as they guide you through the journey of love, dictate your behaviors in love and strengthen you while becoming love.

When we were young, we get to know ‘love’ through our parents; the ways they love us and love each others are what we understand as ‘love’. As we grow up, we expose to ‘love’ not only through observing how others love, but also experiencing ‘love’ on our own receiving and giving. We modify our understanding and concept about ‘love’ and form different beliefs, thoughts, hypothesis and experimental trials about love.

What are your beliefs about love?

Our beliefs guide us heading into the directions we want to go, provide us the courage to continue at difficult time and empower us to do our best reaching for the final goals. It’s very powerful and yet dangerous if the beliefs are harmful (to self and others), distorted or are self-limiting beliefs. Even though our beliefs depict the context of our course of actions, but not to forget that we are the master of our own beliefs; we are responsible and we have the power to adjust our beliefs if necessary. We want our beliefs work for us, not against us.

A personal example: I used to believe ‘love at first sight’ and the instant love connection with ‘the one’; I believe the existence of ‘the one’ (fully ready just waiting for me) and I would just to treasure and be in the relationship as simple as it is (not much work needs to be done and forever happy ever after). After few failures, I decided to change my beliefs. I still believe the existence of ‘the one’, but instead of the above mentioned, I believe ‘he is the one that I want to create my future with’. This has changed my whole perspectives on love connection, ideal partner searching and relationship maintenance work required in love journey ever after! So far my current partner is enjoying the fruit of my new beliefs.

Are your beliefs in love still working favorably for you? If yes, I am happy for you and would like to invite you sharing with us if you permit; if not, take this opportunity to review and adjust your beliefs if needed. Our beliefs are our perceptions of the world; it may be adjusted, created or removed (easily if you allow). Be the master of your own beliefs!


(Ps. The word ‘love’ in the texts above may be substituted with ‘marriage’ for another discussion.)

Today I love my partner by: (share it aloud to your partner)

Reviewing my beliefs about love and adjust if needed, so that the beliefs serve the purpose of my ideal love relationship, as well as our current relationship.

For your actions:

(1)    List out 10 beliefs you have about ‘love’ and assess if the beliefs serve the purpose of your ideal love relationship, as well as your current relationship.

(2)    Ask your partner to share his or her beliefs.

 

 
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Posted by on August 6, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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