Are you in a partnership like relationship where both of you and your partner have common goals to achieve and equal weight on each of your point of views, as well as the commitment and respect for each other? What is your understanding and requirements of partnership or in a relationship?
Couples may be in the relationships for different reasons, i.e. for fun, for sex, for platonic love or for building a family in near future. No matter what’s the main purpose or the mutual interests are, it is important that both of you and your partner are on the same page, knowing what each other wants and expects from the relationship. As the relationship develops, the goals and interests may evolve too. It’s our goodwill to keep our partners updated with our changes of intention; in this way, we respect our partners by sharing a clear understanding or expectation of the relationship from our sides, so they may make decisions accordingly. Many divorces or break-ups may have been saved, if couples could update each other at earlier stage and allowing more time for solutions, turning point or changing mind.
How updated is your partner with your latest thoughts and expectation from the relationship? How much do you involve your partner in your decision making process? Do you ask your partner what he or she thinks when you are about to change job or job move to another country? Or when you invite friends back to your common home for dinner or choosing location for next vacation? Do you consider your partner’s point of views or just inform your partner about the final decisions?
No matter if the decision is about you solely or about both of you the relationship (basically when you are in an intimate relationship, there is no more ‘you’ or ‘your partner’ anymore; it’s all merged into just one ‘you both’), by involving your partner in your decision making process does not only make your partner feel respected, important and included, but also brings you the second opinion for better decision making and a recognition, declaration of togetherness for both of you in the current relationship. It’s a decision to be made with the benefit enhancing your relationship. Why not?
Today I love my partner by: (share it aloud to your partner)
Involving my partner in my decision making process, to hear and understand his or her point of views and latest expectation of the relationship. On the other hand, inviting my partner to include me in his or her decision making process.
For your actions:
(1) How much and often do you include your partner in your decision making process? What would be the benefits if your partner is involved?
(2) Include your partner in your next decision making process; ask your partner’s opinions. Share your reasons involving your partner at the very end.