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Day 19 – Stand by your partner

19 Aug

When you stand by someone, your heart, mind and soul are with this person; so do your actions.

Do you ever come across the situation where your partner tells a joke to a group of friends and even though you have already heard the joke hundredth times before, you are still laughing with your best efforts as if this is the first time you have just heard and enjoyed it very much? Or another situation where your family members are teasing or making jokes of your partner and you stand up to defense him or her in front of your families?

How do you stand by your partner? Will you be next to your partner holding the falling sky?  

To ‘stand by’ is to be right there when you are being needed; you are there to provide and offer physical and mental helps and support. Take an example: your partner is considering changing current job, because he or she doesn’t get along with the current boss. To stand by your partner is,

  • to listen and understand his or her reasoning of the situation,
  • to analyze and to look out for alternative solutions,
  • to empathize with his or her feelings and provide an exit for emotions,
  • to give comforts and support,
  • to affirm and respect his or her decisions,
  • as well as to encourage and supply during the change process.

To ‘stand’ by is to be there, especially when there are disappointments, defeats and negative emotions. You are the strength your partner could count on at down times; you are there to remind your partner his or her own strengths and potential, to shift the focus away from the weakness or temporary failures.

To ‘stand by’ your partner may seem difficult when you disagree with your partner’s decisions or course of actions. It’s important to distinguish, what are you disagree of and what may you still accept and respect despite the disagreement. Using the same example above: perhaps you may disagree on the timing of job changing as both of you are expecting a baby soon (may need extra income) or changing job is the only solution (instead of discuss or talk to the boss), irrespectively you could still choose to accept and respect your partner’s decision and support him or her thereafter (because his or her happiness at work is important to you too).

A couple in relationships is a team, where both join as one in love. If you stand by yourself in life, you will know how to stand by your partner in life together.

Today I love my partner by: (share it aloud to your partner)

Standing by my partner and letting my partner know I will be there for him or her.

For your actions:

(1)    Rate yourself from scale 1 (a little)-10 (very much), how much do you stand by your partner?

(2)    In which areas do you think you have done a good job and in which areas you could do better, would like to offer more to your partner?

(3)    Ask your partner how he or she would like you to stand by them. You may be surprised to know that what you do as an act of standby may be different from what he or she expects or wishes to receive.

 

 
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Posted by on August 19, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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One response to “Day 19 – Stand by your partner

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